Often the simplest of words can be the most powerful. The words above had been carefully written by a girl named Hannah from Pennsylvania. Now, for those who may not understand, let me lay it all out for you. I spend most of my days out and about. I spend my days searching. I look for those who have wandered off the beaten path, and in one way or another have found their way to the absolute fringe of society. More times than not they feel abandoned, left behind, forgotten, and worst of all, alone. The believe that few care for them anymore, and the ones that do are only the ones they come into direct contact with.
This is the lie that they have been told, and it is my mission to disprove that lie. The other day, Hannah, grade 9 also helped me disprove this lie.
I was walking along the river, searching for a friend of mine who recently had to move his campsite, he's a loner, his name is Robert.. He has been out on the street for 14 years, most of his time is spent camping, he has gotten up in years and he does not like the 'drama' of the shelters. As he has gotten older he has gotten more elusive, he stays away from pretty much everyone other than a very select few who he has known for years on end as fellow 'brothers'. A while ago I had stumbled across him as he fished along the riverbank. We exchanged niceties, and as I introduced myself, he started laughing, 'so you're the guy', from the look on my face he laughed even harder, I guess he could tell that I was trying to figure out who 'that guy' was. 'Preacher', the guy who loves all us old bums.' He then told me that my name had traveled up and down the river quite aways, and that he 'half expected when he met me that i would be walkin' on water or some crap like that.' To which I started laughing, I thanked him for the mental image, but that I would probably not be able to walk on water unless there was a floating dock in place or some well placed stones. His reply, 'now don't say that, through God all things are possible.'
His faith has been a blessing to me, to see where he lives, and how he lives, an honor, and to be able to shoot the breeze and be called his 'brother' a downright priviledge. He can and has been known to be quite a handful in his time, but I take all of that with a grain of salt. He is half ojibwe and half english/scotch, his eyes have the knowlegde of so much just swirling around in them, through his John Lennon style bifocals it gives him a scientist or psychologist look, and the salt and pepper in his hair make him look very regal. He always has such deep insight into things, and reminds me of what it must have been like to talk to one of the great thinkers of past times, rhetorical abstract questions where you feel your soul deepens just to hear the words. It is an honor and a priviledge to call him my brother and to be called his.
Either or, as we caught up he made us some tea with a coleman stove, as the tea began to steep I reached into my coat. I had placed some bags in my pockets. A group called the Mitzvah Circle in Pennsylvania had a group of kids, and that group of kids had made up snack packs, those snack packs contained a note from each person who had bagged these gifts with care. I took one of them out and handed it to him. In Bob being a true ojibwe he quickly picked a worry stone out of his pocket and 'traded' it to me so that it would be a fair trade. I thanked him and he thanked me. He quickly started eating the contents. The things that we take for granted through the day are often the most cherised and sought after things in other places. As he sucked on the straw for the juicebox I stifled a grin, for that moment I saw Bob as a child, his deep brown eyes wide to the point of expanding beyond his glasses sipping that sweet nectar of fruit juice. He asked me why the giggle, and I told him why, to which he started to laugh, I love Bob's laugh, he has that infectous belly roll that once started will just get the room going. So we laughed and as we did that, he picked through the bag, that's when it happened. He came upon a piece of paper, it was a small white sheet, and in very nice handwriting it said simply, 'Have a great day. Hannah grade 9' It had gotten kinda wrinkled from being packed in that bag, 'so, who's this?' Bob asked me. My reply, 'Someone who cares from Pennsylvania.' 'Pennsylvania?!?!' Bob replied. To which I replied, 'Yep'. He sat there in silence for a few moments, I was a little distracted by a tug boat, and when I turned back, he had buried his head in his hands and was running his fingers through his hair. I was alarmed, 'You ok Bob?', I blurted. His response was quick and concise, 'How do you do this?! Why do you do this?!' His eyes were full of tears, his voice strained, 'Do you realize that no one, NO ONE, does stuff like this anymore.' My reply, 'wrong Bob, most people don't do it anymore, but looks like Hannah wants to make a difference.' To which Bob replied, 'Shaddup Preacher.' 'I know Bob, I love you Bob, and God does too.' I replied as I rose to leave. 'Ok brother, back atcha on both points,' Bob replied, 'will ya make sure you thank Hannah for me and let her know that she warmed an old man's heart today?' I turned to reply, and as I did I saw bob take the note and place it between two rags, then lay it on one of the flat stones near the fire and use the semi-rounded bottom to iron flat the slighlty wrinkled piece of paper. As he was finished he carefully placed it in his bible and in his backpack to be held safe in his 'memory bank'. 'Of course I will Bob.' I replied. For the moment again I got to see Bob eyes wide give me a smile and a wave. 'Love you lil brother, I may not say it much but I do,' he replied. Bob doesn't say it much at all, that is only the third or fourth time he's said it to me in a year. I could hear Bob whistling a happy tune almost all the way back to West 7th street.
So, thank you Hannah grade 9 for not only warming a man named Bob's heart, but for spreading the love. I love each and every one of you and God does too. LLLAKYFOTPA XD
Friday, October 28, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
The Fear Of Success
As SOHO nears and clears so many benchmarks, I have started to realize one thing, and it seems to reverberate through many of my brothers and sisters as I share it more, and have come to realize that I just have to put it out there.
I have a fear of success. I have no fear of failure, I can fail on epic proportions with style and grace. I have no fear of mediocrity or middle management, I can stay waste deep in the middle and perform 'average' with the best of them. I can go by unnoticed if I stay just under the radar. The issue is, I no longer believe that this is what I was designed for, in that right, what any of us were designed for. We were ALL designed to have gifts in different areas, and instead of working on our weakness, we are designed to operate in our strengths.
In that, do we ignore our weaknesses? I believe we should for the most part. Only working on them when it is something that could become debilitating if left unattended. I believe we should work hard enough on our weaknesses to negate them, beyond that we should let sleeping dogs lie.
I am going to move to first person at this point, so no one feels that I am attempting to assault anyone in any way for any weakness they may posses.
In my journey I have discovered that many great things are possible. In fact my personal belief, through God all things are possible. I have witnessed miracles, wonders, and signs over and over again. I have seen with my own eyes, on 2 seperate occasions, a mand of God pray over someone and heal broken bones. 2 seperate places, 2 different men, 2 different people that they prayed over. The first one, I saw the injury happen, I witness my Pastor, a great man of God and a dear brother to me, pray over the person injured. I then took the person to the hospital to have the bone x-rayed, the x-ray showed a very clear clean break. In the next day or so, I took her back to the hospital to have the break checked out. No more than 3 days later, no break. No noticable damage anywhere on the bone, no scar build up where the break should have been, no nothing. Just a healthy bone. The second time, a gal who came to church for her mother, not for her. Her mother wanted to be at the service, the gal came along 'just to check it out'. The daughter had been hit by a car a short time before, and carried the injuries from being hit by a car. A moment after she was prayed over, she took off her air cast, and was dancing across the stage.
You are probably asking why was it that one took days, and the other took moments. I can answer that, it was for me. I have always had a cynical side when it comes to faith healing, it isn't much of one, but it does rear it's ugly head. I grew up with my mother a nurse, who is a phenominal woman of God, and yet, I would attribute the miracles I heard of and saw, to medicine. When I stood in the room and looked at not only the x-rays, but the general perplexion on all the peoples faces that saw not only the gal who's leg was healed, but the questions and statements that followed. 'are you x-raying the same leg?' 'why isn't there any indication of stress or fracture?' 'this isn't possible'. I could no longer argue, I could no longer not see.
So why do I have a fear of failure? If God can heal 2 seperate people of injuries, why am I so afraid of operating and succeding in what He designed me to do. I have to say this, I just saying that I have a fear of success, I feel better, it's out in the open. In that, I am finding it staggering, how many people feel the same way. I must remember, through me not much is possible, but through God, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. So all in all, it is not my success, it's God's, and who am I to stand in His way. So I will just wake up in the morning, and the rest is up to HIM. Of course it's Him that gives me the gift of waking, so I guess, for me, I'm going to do my best to just leave it all up to Him, and go where ever He guides me, and do whatever He asks me to do.
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
-Philippians 4:13
And looking at them Jesus said to them, "With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
-Matthew 19:26
In that I know that there are many of you who are going to say, 'well, that's all fine and dandy, but what about all of the miralces, signs, and wonders that go undone' I will finish it with two quotes.
For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
-Romans 8:18
I often wonder why my life took so many wrong paths, highways, byways and such. The funny thing is, if I didn't go through all the crap that I did, there would be no way I could do what I do now. Now I think if something isn't happening, what have I or haven't I done that in turn is blocking it from happening. In that, the hardest part, is realizing that all of God's plans are perfect, and sometimes, things just have to happen that way.
-me
I love each and every one of you and God does too. LLLAKYFOTPA XD
I have a fear of success. I have no fear of failure, I can fail on epic proportions with style and grace. I have no fear of mediocrity or middle management, I can stay waste deep in the middle and perform 'average' with the best of them. I can go by unnoticed if I stay just under the radar. The issue is, I no longer believe that this is what I was designed for, in that right, what any of us were designed for. We were ALL designed to have gifts in different areas, and instead of working on our weakness, we are designed to operate in our strengths.
In that, do we ignore our weaknesses? I believe we should for the most part. Only working on them when it is something that could become debilitating if left unattended. I believe we should work hard enough on our weaknesses to negate them, beyond that we should let sleeping dogs lie.
I am going to move to first person at this point, so no one feels that I am attempting to assault anyone in any way for any weakness they may posses.
In my journey I have discovered that many great things are possible. In fact my personal belief, through God all things are possible. I have witnessed miracles, wonders, and signs over and over again. I have seen with my own eyes, on 2 seperate occasions, a mand of God pray over someone and heal broken bones. 2 seperate places, 2 different men, 2 different people that they prayed over. The first one, I saw the injury happen, I witness my Pastor, a great man of God and a dear brother to me, pray over the person injured. I then took the person to the hospital to have the bone x-rayed, the x-ray showed a very clear clean break. In the next day or so, I took her back to the hospital to have the break checked out. No more than 3 days later, no break. No noticable damage anywhere on the bone, no scar build up where the break should have been, no nothing. Just a healthy bone. The second time, a gal who came to church for her mother, not for her. Her mother wanted to be at the service, the gal came along 'just to check it out'. The daughter had been hit by a car a short time before, and carried the injuries from being hit by a car. A moment after she was prayed over, she took off her air cast, and was dancing across the stage.
You are probably asking why was it that one took days, and the other took moments. I can answer that, it was for me. I have always had a cynical side when it comes to faith healing, it isn't much of one, but it does rear it's ugly head. I grew up with my mother a nurse, who is a phenominal woman of God, and yet, I would attribute the miracles I heard of and saw, to medicine. When I stood in the room and looked at not only the x-rays, but the general perplexion on all the peoples faces that saw not only the gal who's leg was healed, but the questions and statements that followed. 'are you x-raying the same leg?' 'why isn't there any indication of stress or fracture?' 'this isn't possible'. I could no longer argue, I could no longer not see.
So why do I have a fear of failure? If God can heal 2 seperate people of injuries, why am I so afraid of operating and succeding in what He designed me to do. I have to say this, I just saying that I have a fear of success, I feel better, it's out in the open. In that, I am finding it staggering, how many people feel the same way. I must remember, through me not much is possible, but through God, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. So all in all, it is not my success, it's God's, and who am I to stand in His way. So I will just wake up in the morning, and the rest is up to HIM. Of course it's Him that gives me the gift of waking, so I guess, for me, I'm going to do my best to just leave it all up to Him, and go where ever He guides me, and do whatever He asks me to do.
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
-Philippians 4:13
And looking at them Jesus said to them, "With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
-Matthew 19:26
In that I know that there are many of you who are going to say, 'well, that's all fine and dandy, but what about all of the miralces, signs, and wonders that go undone' I will finish it with two quotes.
For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
-Romans 8:18
I often wonder why my life took so many wrong paths, highways, byways and such. The funny thing is, if I didn't go through all the crap that I did, there would be no way I could do what I do now. Now I think if something isn't happening, what have I or haven't I done that in turn is blocking it from happening. In that, the hardest part, is realizing that all of God's plans are perfect, and sometimes, things just have to happen that way.
-me
I love each and every one of you and God does too. LLLAKYFOTPA XD
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